scribbled on napkins and receipts
April 21, 2012
rainy day haiku-

your voice, a certain
lightness, she keeps you happy.
now you’ve really gone.

April 8, 2012
coffee shop, sunday morning.

theres a lovely older man here today,
we’ve spoken before.
he’s sweet and thoughtful, comments on things I’m reading and such
as well as mentioning other bits of interesting news-y things

when he leaves with a smile and an well wishes
I can’t help but wonder
-Dear Sir, what were you like at my age
what does your equivalent in my generation look like
how can I find you lost in time, minus some age and experiences
on a different life line?
one closer to crossing my own?

and to those darling confused boys of my age, what will you become?
which ones of you are the wise, kind men like that of my future love?

January 25, 2012
You said to me once, “I want you to love me so you don’t know to do. I want you to be afraid of how much you love me.” I replied, “I think I’m already there.” You sighed, “Good. It’s not worth it any other way.’ -Lost Love LM Anderson _____________________________________________ “Maybe…you’ll fall in love with me all over again.”
“Hell,” I said, “I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?”
“Yes. I want to ruin you.”
“Good,” I said. “That’s what I want too.
— A Farewell To Arms, Ernest Hemingway (via itsherfactory)

(via idontwantrealism)

October 4, 2011

I wasn’t looking for perfection

I didn’t choose you for your eloquence  or beauty

I didn’t choose you at all, I had no say.

The Moon ached and stars aligned

the day your soul found mine

All I ask is that you think of me first,

that when the time comes you consider my heart.

I want to be your Rosalind

to be the only girl in the wide world that could have held you

June 1, 2011
friction and sweat and skin

the spark is gone.
the light’s gone out.
we are not in love.
the passion still makes me weak.

May 31, 2011
the places you linger

labryinth (1986)
The National (entire discography)
the front of my brain (especially when I’m sleeping)
summer 2011: chasing old love across the country
okkervil river (select songs)
how to train your dragon (2010)
old love letters
ticket stubs in my wallet, I cannot get rid of. (trains, movies, receipts too)

in the spaces between me and a new love
the gin and tonic
each cigarette (breathing out the tightness of coming tears)

May 30, 2011
i only wanted to give you everything i have. what’s so wrong about that?
May 23, 2011
cigarettes are what you used to be for me; they relax me and make jittery at the same time. a better choice than parties and binge drinking. keeping me company on breaks from studying. almost as good as you. I guess it’ll have to do.
May 22, 2011
still here. still waiting for you to come back. just like you always did. when did a year with you become forever? i am not myself.
i could so easily make myself crazy about these past couple months. about you. us. everything we gave up on. i don’t know where to go from here. caught in a hurricane. the walls of my mind are spinning.